Gary Beacom's Blog

limerick limbo

garybeacom — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 19:59:43 +0000

how about figuring out these three figure skating questions, the first of which ends with:?? they are intended to open the mind for interesting footwork innovations. there are eight three turns: two blades–right and left, two edges–inside and outside, and two directions–forward and backward. combine these three degrees of freedom for eight different threes: RFO, RFI, RBO, RBI, LFO, LFI, LBO, and LBI. you agree? but here is the third (three-part) question: what is the definition of “choctaw”, how many choctaws exist in the brain, and what percentage of these have you witnessed in three-dimensional reality three planets out from the sun?

Mum

garybeacom — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 02:12:52 +0000

I’ll confide I got thoroughly miffed
When I shut up and pleaded the fifth.
The right I asserted
Was soon controverted.
The magistrate gave me short shrift.

CLAQUE

garybeacom — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 22:55:15 +0000

This is Anu Garg’s WordPress Word of the Day. It signifies a group of people hired to clap at a performance. It is an alternative for a skater instead of locking eyes with members of the audience while moving creatively and adeptly in sync with moving music. A lack of satisfaction for the performer is one of the downfalls of this artifice.

MAKING A SPLASH

garybeacom — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:21:52 +0000

In spite of your medals and rank
It’s a most unacceptable prank.
It’s up to the captain
To choose what will happen,
But plan for a walk off the plank!

NOT!

garybeacom — Sat, 28 May 2011 01:14:27 +0000

All of your rights they do trample.

They abuse you to make an example,

But always remember:

Control your temper;

For the chances to sue them are ample.

UNSEAWORTHY

garybeacom — Thu, 26 May 2011 13:15:34 +0000

Some sailors cracked open a keg
And proceeded through swig after swig.
The admiral came
And laid on the blame
By locking them down in the brig.

Brig: jail cell on a ship

HEARTACHE

garybeacom — Wed, 25 May 2011 02:21:42 +0000

Almost everyone’s heart bled for Al,
And she wrote him to boost his morale.
She said in her letter
That things would get better
As soon as he fled the corral.

Corral: prison

JUST ICE

garybeacom — Sun, 22 May 2011 02:41:22 +0000

He’s a pauper who thought he could fool her
With some gems that he stole from the jeweler.
She fell deeply in love,
But gave him the shove
When he landed head first in the cooler.

SNITCH

garybeacom — Tue, 17 May 2011 12:01:13 +0000

On the planet there’s many a fink.
Can you fathom how far some will sink?
They squeal on a friend
‘Cause they know in the end
It could keep them out of the clink.

MISSING

garybeacom — Mon, 16 May 2011 01:43:32 +0000

I feel like yelling out, “Damn her!”,
For she’s making a hell of a clamor.
There’s no need to cuss
Or raise a big fuss;
I’ve only six years in the slammer.